


Don't Expect Zebras

by CaptainZiggs



Category: tiger & bunny/タイガー＆バニー
Genre: Gen, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-22
Updated: 2011-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-23 03:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainZiggs/pseuds/CaptainZiggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When you hear hoofbeats behind you, don't expect to see a zebra." Instead, expect a unicorn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Expect Zebras

**Author's Note:**

> _This is a very silly anonmeme fill for a very silly prompt._   
> _Also, why is Keith asking Kotetsu and Barnaby's boss instead of someone from Poseidon Line? Because Apollon Media owns HeroTV, which means they own the facilities where Keith trains, suits up, and hangs out with all the other heroes._
> 
>  _Why is there a unicorn following Keith?... Um, a NEXT did it. Yeah, let's go with that._

_"When you hear hoofbeats behind you, don't expect to see a zebra"_ \- **Common medical axiom**

* * *

  


When one Keith Goodman heard hoofbeats behind him as he walked his dog John, he did not expect to discover a zebra tailing him – which is good, because it wasn't a zebra.

It was a unicorn.

It was a rather small thing, for a unicorn. No larger than a pony. It had a spiraling horn and a raggedy, goat-like beard. Keith saw a tail swishing back and forth behind it. It wasn't really like a horse's tail, but rather like a lion's.

"Hello," Keith said cheerfully to the unicorn.

"Hello," the unicorn did notsay back, as it was a unicorn and thus could not speak

John approached the unicorn and sniffed one of it's front hooves cautiously.

"I don't believe I've ever seen a unicorn in Sternbild before," said Keith. "What brings you to Sternbild, Mr. Unicorn?"

The unicorn did not reply. It stamped a hoof, causing John to jump back.

"I see... Well, Mr. Unicorn, it was wonderful meeting you, but I have to get home soon. John here is an old boy has to take his medication at a very particular hour, so I can't be late." Keith turned around and continued on his way home.

He heard hoofbeats again. He turned around to discover that the unicorn was, in fact, following him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Unicorn, but I don't believe you can come with me. My landlady would not be very happy if I brought a unicorn to the apartments"

The unicorn lowered its head and snorted. Keith took that to mean that it understood him. He started back home again. This time he did not hear hoofbeats. He continued on his route until he reached a stoplight. As he waited for the walk signal, he took in the scenery.

In the corner of his eye, at the end of the block, he saw the unicorn. It was still following him, albeit from a much longer distance.

The unicorn continued to follow him all the way home, right up to the doorway of the apartment complex. Before Keith put his hand on the door, he turned to the unicorn again.

"Mr. Unicorn, I'm sorry, but you can't come in with me. The landlady is very picky about what sorts of animals she allows in and, unfortunately, I've only paid a deposit for John here." He gave a polite salute to the unicorn. "Goodbye, Mr. Unicorn. And goodbye again."

Thankfully, the unicorn did not attempt to follow him into the building. However it also did not leave. When Keith peered out from his apartment window, he saw that it was still there.

Keith fed his dog and gave him his medication. He looked out the window again. The unicorn was still there.

A man with a little girl passed by. The little girl pointed excitedly at the unicorn. The man tugged her along. They must have been in quite a hurry to ignore a unicorn like that

Keith ignored the unicorn outside. He read a book. It took him until nightfall to finish it. He chanced another look outside of his window. The unicorn was still there. It nibbled on a patch of grass that grew from the cracks in the sidewalk.

When Keith was ready to go to bed he looked out the window a final time. Just like before, the unicorn was still there, resting itself beside the front steps of the apartment complex.

Keith tried to go to sleep. He couldn't, his head to worried about the unicorn that parked itself outside of his apartment. Getting out of bed, he grabbed a blanket and headed downstairs to the apartment entrance.

The unicorn slumbered noiselessly out in front. It's stomach came in and out as it breathed. Keith gently covered the unicorn with the blanket, careful not to wake the creature. Job finished, he retreated back into the apartment, and went back to bed. This time he had no trouble falling asleep.

He dreamed of unicorns.

* * *

  


"Mr. Goodman, what is that _thing_ you brought with you?"

"He's a unicorn, Ms. Lloyds. He followed me home yesterday." Keith patted the unicorn on the head, careful to avoid the horn. "His name is Comet," he added cheerfully.

Lloyds did not seem to be impressed by the mythical creature before him. "That's very nice," he said sarcastically, "but what is it doing _here?_ "

Keith scratched the back of his neck. "Well, my Landlady won't let me keep him at the apartment, so I was wondering if there were any facilities here at HeroTV where we could take care of him. I'd hate for him to have to sleep out on the street again." He gave his biggest puppy eyes.

Because Lloyds had no soul, they did not work. "Mr. Goodman, what in your right mind would make you think Apollon Media would be willing to house the pet of a Poseidon Line's hero? We're not a kennel, especially not for our competition!"

Keith's face fell. So did the unicorn's.

"Actually, Lloyds, I think we _could_ find use for this thing."

Keith turned around to find Agnes leaning on the door frame.

"And what makes you say that, Ms. Joubert?"

Agnes tossed Lloyds an old booklet of sorts. "Isn't it obvious? We make him a mascot of sorts. HeroTV could make a killing on this"

Lloyds picked up the booklet and examined it. It was a comic book – a very old one. On the front page was a flying white horse with a red cape. The title: Comet the Super Horse."

Lloyds looked back at the unicorn. It snorted.

"... Well, I suppose we could figure _something_ out for-"

Before he could finish, Lloyds felt the air in his lungs forced out by a hug.

"Thank you! And thank you again!" Keith cried. "I promise I'll pay for all of his food and expenses and everything" he turned to the unicorn. "C'mon, Comet! I want to introduce you to all the other heroes."

Lloyds could not decide if he was annoyed or dumbfounded. Agnes, on the other hand, had a smirk on her face. When neither hoofbeats nor footsteps could be heard, she turned to Lloyds and put out her hand.

"Pay up."

Lloyds looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Pay up. We made a bet, remember? Over whether or not Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes was a virgin or not."

She was answered with raised eyebrow. "And...?"

"And he brought a goddamn _unicorn_ to work. You don't get better proof than that, Lloyds."

Lloyds frowned, grumbled, and pulled out his wallet.

"That horn could be fake, you know."

 _-End-_


End file.
